What is an End-of-Life Doula?

In the past, families consisted of parents and grandparents living in the same household. We cared for our elders when they were ill. And we were present when they died. Our neighbors came to visit and say goodbye and bring casseroles to feed the weary loved ones. It was a communal event. When a hearse drove down the street, we’d stop whatever we were doing and take a moment to show respect. Now-a-days, the dead are whisked away in innocuous white vans, shielding the rest of us from the inevitable. We’ve been caring for the dying since the beginning of time but in the last 125 years, we’ve sanitized death and turned it into a medical event.

It's not. It is a natural, sacred human event that is meant to be honored.

 

I am a Certified End-of-Life Doula (CEOLD) and the owner of Holding Space Las Vegas. A CEOLD is non-medical practitioner that works alongside hospice. I am specifically trained to guide the dying physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually while also caring for the caregiver.

Years ago, I was a caregiver for my mother during her end-of-life process and know all too well how difficult it can be. My mother was supported beautifully by hospice but I can remember still feeling so alone and scared. I was exhausted from worry and uncertainty. I wasn’t eating and only slept three hours each day. I had trouble remembering what the hospice nurse said to do five minutes after she explained it to me. I needed more guidance and gentle support.

 

Despite how unprepared I was, my mother’s death was gentle and profoundly beautiful. I knew I had found my calling.

 

The hospice team does an incredible job providing the medical portion and comfort care that is vital to the dying person. They are truly angels. End-of-Life Doulas (aka Death Doulas) can provide all of the other practical and nuanced services that I’m sure the nurses would provide if they had they the time. Since Death Doulas are not regulated by Medicare, we can provide services unique to the family with no limitation on time. (What we don’t do is “take over.”) We are an extra set of eyes and ears to let hospice know of any changes that occur and fill the gap of care that the families so desperately need.

Some of the practical services we provide include advance care planning, facilitation of a life review, creation of a legacy projects, sharing local resources they may need, educate the dying person and their family, and developing vigil plans. (Sometimes, we even walk the dog that may have been a bit forgotten in the chaos that can happen at end of life.) Death Doulas also embrace other modalities to bring peace and comfort to the dying – breathwork, sound healing, guided meditation, and reiki.