Moving Beyond the Loss of Your Child

The grief seems endless. It rolls over you in waves of sadness, depression, guilt, fear, or anger. The depth of emotion creates chaos and confusion around you. You don’t know how you can be there for your family. Your health and your working life suffer. That huge weight you’re dragging behind you can make it difficult to get out of bed because the day ahead looks empty and hopeless without your beloved child. It’s hard to even keep breathing. What used to be normal doesn’t exist anymore.

After a while you think you’re starting to get over it. And then you see or hear something that triggers a memory of your child, you break down in tears and you’re back on the roller coaster of despair. 

Because you’re still a mother in spite of your loss. What you’re going through is a normal healthy response to a devastating loss. But it can be hard to even talk about it because no one understands how to respond to your pain. Or friends trot out clichés like “time heals all wounds” or” he’s in a better place” that aren’t helpful at all.  

Zoya Bokhoor-Mills also lost a child. She knows what it’s like to live with the depths of pain and the feeling that nothing can help - but grief coaching changed her life.